How Did I Choose You
It often seems that love has many faces. It can be based off spiritual, emotional, or mental feelings but the biggest question I ask is how did I choose this one to love? I’ve been developing feeling for someone who often seems too wrong to be right for me. The relationship we’ve built has grown to be over 3 years old and the complications seem like a lifetime’s worth. I can tell there is some type of love there because throughout the 3-year span of us knowing each other we have been together for only 6 months total. What could be considered, as the weirdest part is that at times it could seem like we absoulty hate each other, but at the moment when things are good, “THEY’RE GREAT.” We can go months without speaking but when contact is finally made nothing else matters. The sexual attraction is evident, and intense from both parties but boundaries are NEVER crossed. The worst part is that she knows my heart and can see that I love her and it’s the same in reverse. It’s just something about this love that often keeps the feelings separate and creates difficulties and obstacles to make sure this love thing never works. The fact is that this could be extreme lust or even a figment of my imagination. Its sad to say that developing these doubts and views on love makes it hard for any other person to get to this deep in my heart. It makes me wonder if this could be fear of commitment or just the fear of losing this love that I feel is surely meant for me. With all that being said the only real question that I still continue to ask myself is how did I choose you?
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